Imagine you are a high school teacher and correct the following essay excerpt by an ESL student. Spot the mistakes. Which ones are characteristic for Asian ESL learners, according to the research essay you have read for today, and which ones are just mistakes anyone could make??? Which grade would you assign for this writing?
The Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new building was build. One of the new buildings, it looks like a bird’s nest. Then, it have a big history. You can visit a lot of old buildings to know the history, just like “the summer Palace”. Finally, many people come from different country, there are kinds of restaurant. You can eat which you want to taste. Beijing is a nice place.
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There are a lot of places to visit, and Beijing is a nice, modern city that has a big history. Many people come from different countries to visit Beijing. First, there are many new buildings being built. One of the new buildings looks like a bird’s nest. To get to know the history, you can visit a lot of old buildings like “The Summer Palace.” Finally, there are different kinds of restaurants which you can eat what you want to taste.
ReplyDeleteThe essay excerpt by the ESL student had a couple of mistakes. To begin with, the order of the sentences was incorrect. There were articles used that were not necessary. When I corrected the sentence, I put the period after palace and before the quotation mark. I also rearranged the way a couple of the sentences were structured.
Most of the mistakes that were made by the ESL student were only because they are not a native speaker. For example, "The Beijing is a modern city...” In this sentence, the article "the" is not necessary. A mistake that any person could make was capitalizing "The Summer Palace," and putting the period before the quotation mark.
As for the grade, I would give the student a C, because of the effort they gave to right the essay. They are obviously foreign and do not completely understand the concept of English writing.
Beijing is a modern city with a lot of great places to visit. There are many new buildings in Beijing, one of them looks like a birds nest. Bejing also has alot of history. The summer palace is an ancient building that can be visited by tourist to learn more of Beijings history. Since many people come from different countries, Beijing is full of a wide variety of restaurants, for tourist to eat whatever they want. Beijing is a very nice place to visit.
ReplyDeleteI have revised the excerpt of the essay. The ESL writer made alot of different mistakes due to the fact that they are not a native speaker of English. I found it interesting how the writer formatted each sentence incorrectly. The reason for this, is simply because translation. When trying to actually write, or talk properly in a different language, it becomes hard sometimes to completely make sense, because the languages do not translate verbatim. We see this in the ESL writers, sentence structures.
I would give the student a D, because it was not correctly formatted. However, I wwould try to work with the student in order to imporove the way he/she writes, in English.
Beijing is a modern city with lots of places to visit. There have been many new buildings built here. One of the new buildings looks like a bird’s nest. It has a long history. Visiting old buildings allows you to learn their history;an example would be The Summer Palace”. Many people from different parts of the workd come visit and eat many kinds of foods.You can try the food which you want to eat, Beijing is a nice place.
ReplyDeleteThe student really struggled explaining what he truly meant. An example would be " you can eat which you want to taste." i was unsure if he meant you can eat what you taste or you can taste what you want to eat. 2 totally different interpretations i had when trying to analyze his parapgraph. other than bad syntax , the student would recieve a C. and i would have him re-write the assignment so he can better his grade.
The essay by the ESL student was a little awful. He/She made multiple mistakes within the excerpt. The first line in the quick summary sums it all up in a shell. "The Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit." There is no reason to have "the" in the beginning of the sentence that is preceding Beijing.
ReplyDeleteAlso when the student says, "Then, it have a big history." The student could have re-worded much simpler. For instance, Beijing has an extensive history. If I was to grade the student on his performance I would give him a C. The student. none the less, put in some effort but he needs more direction.
If this essay were to be revised, it would read something to like this:
ReplyDelete"Beijing is a modern city and there are a lot of places to visit. First, there are many new buildings that have been built. One of the new buildings looks like a bird's nest. Second, the city has a long history. There are a lot of old buildings to visit to learn about the history, such as "The Summer Palace". Lastly, there are many different kinds of restaurants. Because of the many people who have come from different countries, you can eat whatever you want. Because of these reasons, Beijing is a nice place to visit."
This essay definitely had a lot of the common ESL writer problems. There were short and choppy sentences, singular nouns that should have been plural, incorrect verb tense, inconsistent transitions, and other errors that just sounded awkward as though lost in translation.
Because this student is an ESL student, he/she would be in an ESL classroom and the essay would be graded with this consideration. Therefore, I would give him/her an B with the opportunity for revision.
Beijing is a modern city that has a lot of nice places to visit. There are many new buildings being built. One of the new buildings looks like a bird's nest. Beijing also has a big history based on its buildings. For exampe, you can visit a lot of the old buildings to learn the history, such as the "Summer Palace." Many people from different countries come to visit thedifferent restaurants ordering food from across the globe. Beijing is a nice place to visit.
ReplyDeleteThe ESL had problems with verb tenses and sentence construction. The student had valid point and clear thoughts, but he/she were unable to construct a sentence showing their knowledge of the information. The information given didn't stay consistent with the thesis.
I would not give the ESL student a grade at all because he/she has yet to show their true knowledge of the work. Instead I would give the paper back to him/her ans teach them the way to contruct the sentences so that it makes sense and give an additional assignment based on what he/she learned from the mini lessson I provided. I believe after that I could give a grade that would fit the students learning ability.
Beijing is a great modern city with lots of places to visit. There are many new buildings being built. One of the new buildings looks a bird's nest. Beijing is a place with a large history. There are many old buildings to visit to get to know it's history, an example of this would be The Summer Palace. Since there are many vistors from various countries, it is easy to enjoy a delicious meal from a variety of retaurants. This allows you to eat what you want to. It is because of all these reasons that Beijing is a very nice place to visit.
ReplyDeleteThere were many various mistakes from the ESL writer that needed to be corrected. These mistakes included sentence structure, improper verb tenses and small gramatical errors. I feel that if I were grading this essay I would give the student an effort grade because it is obvious the student is trying. Instead of giving a grade based on this one essay, I would provide the student with additional information and allow him or her to re-write the essay before giving him or her a final grade.
The comment above is from my account, I tried to copy and paste it but it wouldn't let me. It was posted by Alexandria Snelius. I was accidentally logged into my other gmail account.
ReplyDeleteBeijing is a modern city with many places to visit. There are many new buildings and one of them looks like a bird's nest. Beijing has a lot of old historical buildings you can visit, such as "The Summer Palace." With many people coming from different countries, there are many restaurants you can choose from. Because of all these reasons, Beijing is a nice place to visit.
ReplyDeleteThe paragraph is very confusing to a reader. The writer should organize and re-word what he or she is trying to get across to the reader. I would not give the writer a horrible grade because the message is still getting out, just in a confusing way.